CONFESSION !!!

I’m telling it all!

Confession: I am afraid of what God can do through me and the success He wants to manifest in my life.  WHEW!! Glad I got that out. It is said confession is good for the soul–right?

James 5:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (NIV)

After reading a blog “Top 5 Reasons You are Afraid to Succeed,  by the very talented http://charitsinspirationalcreations.blogspot.com. (Check out her inspirational jewelry and posts you’ll love it!) it struck me am I really afraid of what God can do through me.

Is it the responsibility?

Is it the accountability?

Is it the stability?

The resounding answer to each of those questions and more is YES! I am sure I am not the only one, but it’s interesting how this came up within a matter of two days. ( I just had a similar  conversation on yesterday.)

As I reflect over the last glorious month of my life, fully recognizing who has, holds and controls me it has caused me to have more personal and intentional “come to Jesus” meetings with myself.

Here are my top 3 reasons I know I fear success:

I was afraid to pray for myself.

1. Actively praying for others without praying for myself.

In my prayers I am quick to pray for everyone else. When it comes to me I get tongue twisted or will even say “God you know what I want” or not pray for myself at all. This is one reason I’ve always said, “God has no time to be bothered with me wanting to be married”. There are more important things.

For many of us we were taught praying for ourselves is selfish and self-centered. Yes you’re praying can be self-centered if they have the “gimme” flow going on, but to honestly and sincerely ask God to do something in your life for His glory is not selfish at all.

 

Dimming my light because of others who lacked light.

  

2. Dimming my light for those who lack light.

There is a thin line between arrogance and confidence. I’ve been on the arrogant side and if you ask some folks they will tell you I still am. WHATEVER!!  However, I know confidence is a quality I have not always had. Therefore, I mentally positioned myself to be better than others and frequented circles of people where I knew I would and could be the center of attraction. It fed what Beyoncé talks about in her song: EGO-mine.  Now this has a VERY damaging effect as it leads to bad relationships and dealings in every part of life imaginable. With men it was control, with work it was recognition (cause I was knocking it out the box) and with the world attention.

Now as I began to allow God to do His thang, I noticed a switch from thinking too highly of myself to not being able to accept compliments or not wanting to accept credit for what I KNEW God had allowed to take place. Honey, believe me that is JUST as bad as arrogance. In a quest to not think too highly of myself I began dimming my light so that others wouldn’t think I was being “too much.” I’ve come to know that dimming my light was a direct result of the LACK of light in their lives. A BIG no no!

 

Honey I’d perfected pessimism!

3. Perfected Pessimism

I like things done nicely, decently and orderly. I really do and if you follow me at all on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram you’ll notice I like pictures. At one point in my life I didn’t like pictures, mainly because they revealed an ugly truth on what was going on inside of me…I was NOT perfect. I shied away from pictures knowing that people would see the perfect mess in me due to my weight and my out of control lifestyle at that time.

I didn’t expect the best and didn’t feel I could have the best of pretty much anything in my life…Perfected Pessimism.

Again, as a personal transition was taking place, this perfectionism flowed over to Queenly and Confident as I worked to define my brand, audience, style and the list goes on and on. Now you know I thrive on being open-I am STILL working on not having things perfect. I will say this year more than others I’ve just done it–got out there, asked the questions, created the event, wrote the proposal and it goes on and on. Perfectionism is just another form of FEAR. I’ve hid behind, beside, and between fears for way to long.

Now don’t think I’ve totally arrived. I am STILL a work in progress. I just fully realized what is taking place inside one step at a time and the same can apply to you.

What self-confessions should you make to keep it real with yourself and move towards your BEST life? I’d love to hear from you.

To Your Successful BEST life,

Zakiya!

3 Responses to CONFESSION !!!

  1. Nice post. I was checking constantly this weblog and I am inspired!
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  2. Thanks for the eye opener. Reading your post made me realize that’s exactly how I am. I tend to start something full steam ahead and then suddenly get cold turkey. Always talking myself down from really letting my light shine. Why? For What? What Am I Afraid Of?

    Now that I know what the reason is labeled as I WILL pray for continued guidance to excel to be the best that I can be & “To let my light so shine before men, so that they may see my good works, and glorify my Father which is in heaven.” ~ Matthew 5:16

    Amen!

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