What a mother can teach her son?
We always hear boys need men, but there are many things men can learn from his first girl-his mother. Considering 84% of custodial parents are mothers, mothers definitely have a lot to share. They aid in calming our fear, they are our biggest cheerleader and they put us in check when we need it the most. Granted everyone may not have the best memories of their mother, one thing we must realize is mother’s do the BEST they can with where they’re at and what they have. That is important to grasp if you are a person who is STILL stuck on shouldas, couldas and woulda. Drop it!
Although a boy’s relationship with his father is VERY important, a boy’s relationship with his mother shapes his future and dealings with others from childhood. Think about a toddler who wants to go play with other toddlers. Their eyes usually wonder back to mom for approval of that person. Right? Yes the same thing happens as the child become an adult and seeks mom’s wisdom for some of life’s biggest decisions.
After years of observing the relationship with my mom and brothers, I’ve found my brothers have a strong sense of respect, courage, admonition and protection for my mom. They each have their respective families, but I am sure they can attest to the lessons learned below from our beloved mom-Brenda Carolyn Lyons Kyles.
My lessons may not be your lessons, but I am sure the lessons from your experiences will help shape men who will shape our community.
- Household responsibilities are everyone’s responsibilities.
At “1407” we all shared in the responsibilities of ensuring our home was clean, friendly and welcoming. Our home was the neighborhood home. Everyone and their mama came over so you know Brenda made sure the clean. We each had a MONTH to wash dishes and my brothers were not excluded. From washing clothes to mopping floors, everyone knew the importance of doing your part. This meant something especially great if we wanted company to come over. LOL! Today my brother’s home are spic and span clean. Me on the other hand uhuh! LOL!
- Celebrate the woman you are with.
Both of my brothers have special women in their lives. One is married and the other is not. They are the mothers of their children. Ladies whom I feel made a great choice when it comes to mates. My brothers learned by example in our home, that anytime is a great time celebrate the woman who loves, cares and puts up with you even in your mess. In the words of the Temptations-Treat Her Like a Lady!
- Give back to the village that gave to you.`
I am first to admit the village played a significant role in raising us.We were VERY active in our church and community and everyone knew Brenda and Bobby’s kids. From Girl Scouts to Judo to Football we learned valuable lessons that I STILL hear in my ear till this day.
Each time we’re at home we make our rounds to parts of the village that helped raised us. They are always happy to see us and reminisce on the good ol’ days when we were kids. Today we all give back in our unique ways. My brothers choose to give back through sports in the community as football reigned supreme in the Kyles household.
- Childhood is a precious time for your kids, don’t miss it.
As fathers I am sure my brothers thought the Brenda Kyles lectures would stop. Oh nooo! As a grandmother she is adamant about spending quality time with their kids. Moma believes that milestones should be spent with the people who love you most. My niece recently performed at her school’s end of the year celebration. Without a second thought my brother was there and for my niece this did her heart all the good in the world as she is ALWAYS on the lookout for family.
Celebrate your mom by applying her wisdom for a life well-loved and well-lived!
To Queenly and Confident Living!